Museum of the Bible: Don's Basement Translation with Credits

The guy from Hobby Lobby and his friends are opening a Museum of the Bible in DC. They made a classy video.

It called out to me.

This is the result.



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I could not have made this video without um, borrowing clips from movies, songs, comedy routines and other assorted silliness.

A few thoughts.

Most people I know only heard about Hobby Lobby because of their opposition to a provision of the Affordable Care Act. Hobby Lobby specifically objected to several forms of birth control including the IUD which they believed terminated a living fetus. As such, it violated their religious principles. 

I personally think this was a hypocritical move because as a corporation they bought much of their product from China, a country that allows and encourages abortion as a method of population control.

I also had a personal dog in the fight. When I was still working, Hobby Lobby tested one of our companies products but did not reorder. So, the hell with them and their Biblical crap.

In their video, they take the viewer on a Biblical Acid Trip which ends up at their new museum. 

Scene 1: Mt. Sinai. I could have used the Mel Brooks gag from History of the World Part 1 but I had just used it in the 5 Minutes of Krinsky post. Instead, I went with Wholly Moses starring Dudley Moore and Laraine Newman (and many others including Richard Pryor.)

Scene 2: Writing the Torah Scrolls and having the Romans barge in. This was a no-brainer. The Life of Brian has a wonderful Roman shakedown scene. Youtube only had a grainy portion of it available and I didn't want search through the whole movie to get better quality. BTW. Everything you need to know about partisan politics and religion is included in The Life of Brian.

Scene 3: A guy on a white horse whom I am guessing carrying the scrolls somewhere. It reminded me of Lawrence of Arabia.  If I recut the video, I would have included Peter O'Toole and those piercing blue eyes.

Scene 4: Then the Hobby Lobby video skips about 1500 years to Gutenberg and printed bible. A Youtube group called the History Teachers make these parody videos. This one is to Blondie's Sunday Girl. It's a pretty cool video. 

Scene 5: Martin Luther. Spent probably an hour gleaning through Prairie Home Companion, Lutheran Joke Sites. (You might a Luthern if...you have more than five flavors of Jell-O in your pantry.) Finally found another parody song by the History Teachers to the tune of Manic Monday by the Bangles.

Scene 6: Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel had me thinking about the Jackie Mason joke, "It took Michelangelo 20 years to paint a ceiling. The man was a putz. I've got a brother-in-law. Two rooms and a toilet. A couple of days. But Jackie Mason has lost his mind and I couldn't find a clip. I had to with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  

Scene 7: Galileo, I guess. Not sure how it relates to the Bible but it made me think of Bohemian Rhapsody which I had just used for my Scare-a Mooch post. Remember that guy. Lasted a week. Instead, here is Jake Shimabukuro's incredible version of that tune.

Scene 8: Some white people crossing the ocean to come to America. I say it was the pilgrims. I used Malcolm X's Plymouth Rock explanation.

Scene 9: The signing of the Declaration of Independence. Had to be Stan Freeberg Presents The United States of America This is the scene where Thom asked Ben to sign the document because "We've had it with that Royal Jazz."

Scene 10: Abraham Lincoln working on the Emancipation Proclamation. Immediately, I thought Bob Newhart Abe Lincoln vs Madison Avenue. Prescient comments about the power of advertising in politics.

Scene 11: The Civil War brought to mind Rocky and Bullwinkle and League of Confederate Correctors. This was episode 4 of a 5 part series from the 1963-1964 season. 

Scene 12: The final scenes show the freedom of the slaves and Martin Luther King addressing the crowd for his "I Have a Dream Speech." This was somewhat dispiriting search. The Internet can be a nasty racist place so I stopped looking for jokes. Instead found a scene from Forrest Gump where he runs through the reflecting pond to embrace Jenny, the love of his life. 

That's how I spent my Monday. Thanks for reading, viewing, being a friend or relative.

Peace out!